Dear Bulk Mailer,
Please find attached to your no-postage-necessary envelope, this brick. I figured with all these great junk mails you send me every month, you'd like something in return! I know it costs twenty cents for every ounce I mail to you, so I hope it doesn't weigh too much more than an ounce.
-Resident or Homeowner
Please find attached to your no-postage-necessary envelope, this brick. I figured with all these great junk mails you send me every month, you'd like something in return! I know it costs twenty cents for every ounce I mail to you, so I hope it doesn't weigh too much more than an ounce.
-Resident or Homeowner
Q: How much does this cost the recipient?
A: Junk mailers PAY about twenty cents an ounce. That means an eight pound package COSTS THEM about $25. And all of the proceeds go directly to the United States Postal Service.
Q: Can you do this with email spam?
A: Sure can! http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/spam/
Q: Does this actually work?
A: Someone used my company's buisness-reply from inside the magazine, and taped it to a box. That's how I know this works
Q: What is the weight limit?
A: I've heard rumors that it is 13 ounces, but the box that was sent to the magazine I work for was twenty two pounds.
Q: Is this legal?
A: Just don't send hazardous materials (ie batteries), or things considered unhealthy (ie dirty underwear). Seriously, no dirty underwear.
Q: Are you sure I can't mail underwear?
A: Well if you do, mail me a picture. Like these: thongs
Q: Does this cost anything?
A: No. What's wrong with you
Q: Does this help American families?
A: Yes. The United States postal Service employs nearly two million people. These numbers are going down drasticly because of increased e-mail use. This junk mail program signifigantly increases USPS income generation, which allows the government to employ more people. We at Dear Bulk Mailer are pro-family, pro-jobs, and pro-America.
Q: Is this myspace?
A: No. wtf?
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Labels: Funny, giving convention the finger
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