How to Buy Your Own Missile Silo

During the Cold War, America was full of holes, and each one contained a nuclear-tipped intercontinental ballistic missile. For every missile there was an underground command center (called a capsule) with two military officers on duty for 24 hours at a time, each one holding a launch key. If the officers got the right command from on high, they would verify with a countersign, insert their keys and launch the missile– bye bye bad guys. It takes two keys to launch, insuring that a rogue maniac couldn’t start his own WWIII, at least not without driving his partner in the capsule to the same brand of crazy.

Fortunately, nobody ever had to turn their keys in real life, only in training missions that simulated an underhanded attack by dirty commies. Now a lot of these sites are abandoned, decommissioned under anti-nuclear proliferation treaties and other negotiations. When the government sold these off at bargain-basement prices, savvy investors scooped them up and now resell them to anyone with an urge to live underground and with no windows.

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