Thursday, March 26, 2009

You’re Looking Mighty Sheveled Today

Humor comes from anything, and from anywhere, but we have to have “ammo.”

I look for the inconsistencies in real life. One thing I’ve noticed is that, many words we use regularly, have lost their antecedents. Here are some examples:

When someone looks like they just got up from bed, all rumpled, and wrinkled, we may say they look disheveled, but I never hear of anyone, who looks neat and clean, described as sheveled.

Unkempt is another word with a similar meaning. My mother never told me, “You are certainly looking kempt today.”

How about bedraggled and bewildered? Try telling your sweetie, “You’re lookin’ really draggled and wildered tonight babe!” See how far that gets you.

We reverse our vehicles to go backward, but we do not verse them to go forward.

My son can get distracted, but I have never seen him tracted. And why don’t we appreciate tractions at the office, since we all hate distractions so much?

We hire people to find defects in products, but who finds the fects? Which brings to mind the question, if someone defects when they leave their country, if they go back, are they fecting?

Before we can make a reference to something, do we first have to make a ference?

We can have first runs and reruns, but never first peats followed by repeats.

Bad people may be reprobates, but good people are never probates.

An evil reprobate may debauch, defile or deflower a woman. Does this mean the probate hero bauches, files and flowers her?

We are supposed to inspect what we expect, but where the heck do we find all those pects in the first place? At the dentist we are told to expectorate, so when we drink I guess we are inspectorating?

I’m so distraught. But don’t worry, I’ll be just traught later.

To disemble is to lie, to resemble is to look like, so would sembling be not looking like we aren’t lying?

I hate to interrupt this right now, but feel free to terrupt the discussion in comments.

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