Monday, January 19, 2009

US Airways Captain Chesley B. “Sully” Sullenberger guided his crippled Airbus jet to a perfect landing on the Hudson River the other day, and is now being hailed as a hero.

Well, we already knew that.

Here’s are the top 10 reasons why:

10. Captain Sully didn’t pray to God when both his engines stopped. God prayed to him.

9. Captain Sully doesn’t say grace. He calls for the Before Dinner checklist.

8. Captain Sully has never actually taken a flying lesson.

7. Captain Sully’s first word was “aileron.”

6. When someone sneezes, people say, “Captain Sully bless you.”

5. Captain Sully isn’t a perfectionist. Perfection is a Captain Sullyist.

4. If a part on Captain Sully’s airplane is broken, he doesn’t call a mechanic. He just sits the part down for a little chat.

3. When Captain Sully brushes his teeth, he gargles with jet fuel.

2. Captain Sully once passed himself in mid-air.

1. Captain Sully doesn’t learn from experience. Experience learns from him.

Even more reasons Captain Sully is the man:

- All of US Airways checklists now just say, “Do whatever Captain Sully would do.”

- Captain Sully once took off three hours late and landed on time…on a 45 minute flight.

- Captain Sully doesn’t commute to work. He just appears.

- A new regulation requires all air traffic controllers to end each sentence with, “…if it’s okay with Captain Sully.”

- Captain Sully can fly an entire four-day trip in one day.

- Captain Sully taught God how to fly.

- Captain Sully could land a plane on top of the Empire State Building. The pointy part.

- Although it looks like hundreds of thousands of people work for the airlines, it’s actually just one guy. Captain Sully.

- The NTSB stopped investigating when they learned Captain Sully was flying.

- Jet fuel thinks there’s nothing like the smell of Captain Sully in the morning.

- Captain Sully knows a wrong way to eat a Reese’s.


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